Reviews - Procedurally Generated

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First Impressions: Mini Metro Early Access

Mini Metro puts you in charge of designing a metro line for a city. You start off drawing lines between three stations, and things escalate until you’re looking at some cthuluesque monstrosity of a metro line wondering how you ended up there. Each week you get additional resources to improve your metro line. Each of […]

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Pseudo Review: Crimsonland

Crimsonland is a top-down arena shooter. It’s also an indie game from the era of game portals. Doing a decade-to-decade comparison, I’m unsure how well it holds up. The truly impressive number of enemies in the early 2000’s isn’t impressive anymore, and the single looping music track is now noticeably bad. The gameplay holds up […]

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Pseudo Review: You Must Build A Boat

You Must Build A Boat is basically 10,000,000 reskinned, with additional slight improvements. My opinion really hasn’t changed, nothing here is new or exciting, but is competently executed and capable of wasting a couple hours should you be in the mood for a match-3.

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Pseudo Review: Cities Skylines

Cities Skylines is a city-building game that’s basically the Sim City sequel people wanted that EA couldn’t deliver. And if you’re judging it on that yardstick, it’s a pretty good Sim City game, you’ve got the RCI meter, the constructing a city from nothingness, etc etc. Colossal Order also added in a bunch of traffic […]

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Pseudo Review: Shattered Planet

Shattered Planet is a roguelike, but with simplified mechanics and shiny graphics. I also dislike it quite a bit. It borrows from Rogue Legacy with permanent progression unlocks, but where Rogue Legacy felt skillful and possible to advance if you just played well enough, this is entirely a death grind so that you can continue. […]

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Pseudo Review: Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate

MH4U is a game where you, unsurprisingly, hunt monsters. This is the best game for newcomers, and probably the best value for money you’re going to get on the 3ds if this is your kind of game. Whether it’s your kind of game is an interesting question; after 250 hours I’d like to say it’s […]

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Pseudo Review: New 3DS

The New 3DS has a few issues. The name for starters. It also fails to come with its own charger for the first time since you could power gameboys with AA batteries. The system transfer was slow and performed a scorched earth erase on my old 3ds, so you’re completely hosed if it fails for […]

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Pseudo Review: Massive Chalice

Massive Chalice is basically a poor man’s XCOM by Double Fine. The main difference is the bloodlines feature, where you attempt to establish a series of great houses over several hundred years to ensure the classes and heroes you need. ┬áThe game is decent enough, but it’s no XCOM. All of the systems feel like […]

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Pseudo Review: Sunless Sea

Sunless Sea is an oddity. Made by the people who made the Fallen London browser game (always worth a look if you haven’t) and set in the same universe, it’s a sort of role-play-y permadeath lovecraftian sea-travel simulator. Which I enjoy, because novelty has a value all its own. Sunless Sea does atmosphere really well, […]

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Pseudo Review: The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth

Binding Of Isaac: Rebirth is a complete rebuild of the original Binding of Isaac, plus the DLC, with a bunch of additional content and tweaks added in. If you are unaware of the original, it’s a mechanically sound top-down arena shooter roguelike and is… very weird. Is it worth getting if you have the original? […]

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